Have you heard the saying, “Be the change you want to see in the world”? Well after a year of “experiencing joy” I had a deep realization that instead of going from one experience of joy to another I needed to actually BE and live joy, not the other way around.
I know that most people don’t have the luxury to stop, take a time out and really look at ones’ life, so for that I am grateful for the universe and or my former employer for forcing me to stop. What is truly strange is that even with the giant RED sign on my face nothing actually stopped, in fact everything sped up and the contents of my “plate” became overwhelming even to me. My perception of what others need and expected of me on top of expectations of myself sent me into a seemingly unending loop and I hit the wall again and again and again. By the way, this is NOT joy J…
In all of my years of studying personal development, the saying “what you fight strengthens and what you resist persists” has come out of my mouth thousands of times yet never have I had the opportunity to really learn this lesson as much as I have while “trying” to be quiet… (Yoda has a saying about trying that I won’t repeat here however…)
During my two week Facebook fast the number of notifications listed on my app were also in this same loop, a strange reflection of my state… I shut off all of my email notification and moved the app to the last page of my phone and ipad doing everything I could not to be tempted to jump back on without removing the app altogether. I made a game out of looking at the number grow over the first few days, and all of a sudden, the number zeroed out, then again it went up again and down interesting – it has been steady at 50 for the past few days ironically at the same time I was looping, yes you can laugh, it is funny, I must have been reading the Facebook leaves!
When I get into a difficult place and I need to clear my head, I need to swim and get my head underwater. Needless to say, I have been swimming A LOT over the past couple of weeks and despite being a bit waterlogged I have had some great moments of clarity.
One was, I remembered that a very long time ago a dear friend used my love of the water to help me look at resistance in new way, she said, “have you ever watched seaweed? It doesn’t resist, it goes with the waves, the current and the storms… You have to start being a bit more like seaweed” Yes in my busyness I had clearly forgotten this, DANG, it is so simple yet so difficult WTH??? Another was my memories of water safety classes and learning how to be a lifeguard. When you go to approach someone who is drowning their panic, fear and resistance will drown you so your approach is critical and more importantly sometimes you have to stay away until they ask for your help. Wow could that be a bigger mirror for me? Am I going to drown or will I choose to ask for help?
Okay, so you may be saying to yourself, “show me the joy” well I am getting there I promise…
So all of this self reflection has lead me to my innermost truth. In order not “just do what is required” and instead actually live in my truth I need to begin again, wipe everything off my plate from the smallest to the biggest and before putting ANYTHING back on my plate ask WILL THIS BRING ME JOY?
So because swimming against the current SUX, I am going to ask all of you to hold me accountable and perhaps even join me in this living joy thing. I have and will continue to be making some big personal changes that are even far out of my comfort zone and know that all of these changes have come from asking will this bring me joy.
Until Soon and IN JOY,